


Oblivious

by Zorro_sci



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, oblivious science boyfriends, team tried to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorro_sci/pseuds/Zorro_sci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team see how Bruce and Tony look at each other, and they think it's about time they do something about it.  Cue not-so-helpful helping from the team as they try to match make the science bros.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Supporters of Stanner

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to [this prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19458.html?thread=46973442#t46973442) on Avengerkink.

"I hereby call this meeting of the Supporters of Stanner to order," Clint said as Thor entered the living room.

"Stanner?" Steve questioned.

"Stark and Banner. It's a ship name. You know, when two people are in a relationship, you combine their names to make a couple name. Like Bradgelina or TomKat," the archer explained.

"TomKat didn't last. And Stanner sounds stupid," Natasha said rolling her eyes. "Besides, they obviously should be called Brony."

"Wait . . .by your rule, could they be called Truce?" Steve chipped in.

"Brony is an awful ship name . . .and yes, Cap, 'Truce' could be their couple name, but it shouldn't be, because Stanner sounds way cooler," Clint said.

"Ship name? Stanner? Brony? My friends, are we not gathered here because we believe our brothers in arms are in love with one another but unaware of the other's affection? Is this not about turning the science brethren into what you on Midgard call boyfriends? I do not understand how creating a name for their relationship accomplishes this objective," Thor rumbled.

"Science boyfriends . . . . Not bad Thor . . . . And to answer your question, yes, that's why we're here. I can't take their oblivious pining much longer," Clint replied. "I mean, at first it was funny, because, you know, they're geniuses, but they're clueless. Now it's just annoying. I am sick of the way they look longingly at each other. Especially Stark. He gets all starry eyed and looks at Banner like he just hung the moon. And he follows him around like a lost puppy. And Banner . . .the way he moves closer to Stark anytime they're in the same room, it's like he can't help but be attracted to him."

"All of which are good reasons why we should help them realize that they have feelings for one another," Steve concluded. "I think they'll both be happier."

"And hopefully more stable," Natasha added.

"With them? It could go either way. They could be more explosive. . ." Clint mused.

"I hope not . . ." Steve fretted.

"I do not doubt they will be a most wonderful match," Thor enthused. "I have rarely seen two more compatible beings in all my time in the nine realms. I believe helping them attain their hearts' desire is a most noble quest."

"Okay, so we all agree that we should get them together, but how?" Natasha prompted.

"I could talk to them," Steve offered.

With no other ideas, the group decided that's where they should start.


	2. Time is fleeting

"Bruce, Tony, do you have a minute?" Steve asked as he stood at the door of the lab.

"Sure. What do you need, Capsicle?" Tony remarked.

"I was wondering if we could have a little talk," Steve said, putting on his Captain America voice.

"Are we about to get a Captain America pep talk? Please say we are. That would just make this day complete," Tony enthused sarcastically.

Bruce shot Tony a hard glare, but Steve missed both the sarcasm and the look. He was too focused on getting the two of them to talk.

"I suppose it's a pep talk . . .though not entirely. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's important to tell people who you care about what you feel about them while you have the chance. I mean, look at me. I woke up seventy years in the future, and everyone I knew and loved was dead. 

Thankfully, I got the chance to tell most of them how I felt about them, but some of them I never did. I just think it's important that you acknowledge how you feel," Steve explained.

Tony started to roll his eyes, but Bruce shot him a look that said, _Clearly something set him off. He's probably feeling lonely. Play along._

Tony nodded his understanding grudgingly.

"Okay, Cap. Then I suppose I should tell you that I actually kinda like you now. I maybe despised you when I first met you, but now I think you're okay. I even consider you a friend," Tony confessed.

"I'm glad to hear that. I consider you a friend too, Tony. But is there anyone else you might want to . . . Wait, you despised me?!?" The super soldier said in shock.

"Well, you know . . . My dad spent all his time looking for you instead of at home. It was always 'Captain America this' and 'Captain America that.' He held you up like this impossible ideal, and I always felt like a disappointment in comparison, so, yeah, I hated you . . .sorry," Tony apologized.

"It's alright. I understand. I'm sorry that happened. . . . So, anyone else you might want to say something to . . . " Steve prompted.

"Oh, Bruce! Of course! You are the best lab partner I have ever had. You're brilliant and I absolutely love your brain," Tony enthused.

"Thanks, Tony. I love working with you too. It's nice being able to work with someone who can keep up," Bruce said.

"And?" Steve prompted.

They were so close. If only Stark could change "I love your brain" to "I love you," and Bruce could do the same with "I love working with you," they'd finally be in business.

"I consider you a friend, and respect you as leader, Cap. And that's saying something. I haven't had the best experience with authority figures," Bruce said, grimacing at the end.

"Thanks, Bruce. I really appreciate having you on the team. You're a great guy," he said.

He waited to see if anything else happened, and then huffed out an impatient sigh and said, "So . . .it feels pretty good to tell people how you feel about them, right?"

"You know, it really does, Cap. . . .hey, Bruce . . ." Tony started.

Bruce turned a questioning gaze to Tony, and Steve held his breath. This was it; finally!

"We should go find the rest of the team and tell them how much we appreciate them!" the billionaire enthused.

The pair ran off together, and Steve felt like hitting his head on the wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you failed?" Natasha clarified.

"Well . . . Stark did say he loved Banner's brain," Steve defended.

"Yeah, but they called each other the best _lab partners_ ever. It was clear they were talking about working together, and not anything more," Clint countered.

"Were you listening from the air ducts!" Steve accused.

"Someone had to be there when your attempt crashed and burned," the archer snarked.

"What do we do now, my friends?" Thor asked.

"I'll take care of it!" Clint declared.


	3. Shot in the back

Clint waited in the air duct, looking for the perfect shot. Finally, it presented itself. Tony was on the other side of the lab concentrating on some blueprint, and Bruce was lost in his work.

The assassin lower his head and shoulders from the vent, notched an arrow, and then loosed it. The arrow whizzed through the air and hit its mark; dead center between Bruce's shoulder blades. 

A roar shook the room, and Clint popped back up through the vent before he was spotted. The metal duct vibrated as Hulk's fists made contact with the floor, and the air filled with snarls.

"Hey, Big Guy," Tony said nonchalantly. "What happened? What are you doing out?"

"BIRDIE SHOOT PUNY BANNER!" Hulk bellowed, holding the arrow out in front of him.

"Huh," Tony said casually, but there was a slight strain in his voice. "Hulk, why don't you go to your smash room. I'll join you in a minute and we can smash together, okay?"

Hulk nodded and his giant footsteps echoed as he made his way into what Tony called "the green room."

Tony waited until the Hulk was out of hearing distance, and then shouted, "Clint! Clint! I know you're in that air duct, get down right this second or I swear I'll electrify the whole thing and fry you like KFC!"

"What's up, Tony?" Clint asked casually as he dropped down from the ceiling.

"'What's up?!?' You just shot Bruce with an arrow, and all you can say is 'what's up?!?'" Tony fumed.

"You seem awfully upset by this whole shooting thing . . .it was only a joke," the archer said, playing dumb and hoping to get an angry confession out of the billionaire.

"I 'seem upset?!?' Of course I'm upset! What kind of joke involves shooting a deadly weapon at your teammate?!?" Tony cried incredulously.

"Well, since Banner can just shake these things off, I thought it might be fun to see if I could get the jump on him," Clint said with a shrug.

"'Shake these things off?!?' He becomes a rage monster. As in, property damage, possible damage to others," the other man yelled.

"So what? You're afraid of the Hulk, because I thought . . . " Clint started.

"No, I'm not afraid of Hulk. But every time Bruce has an uncontrolled Hulk-out it completely destroys his confidence. If he runs away after this, it's on your head!" Tony stormed angrily.

"Wow, touchy. Didn't know you had such a soft spot for Banner. You seem pretty invested in him staying," Clint said holding his hands up in an innocent gesture.

"Bruce is one of four people on the planet who can keep up with me, and the only one of them that I can stand. He's the best lab partner I've ever had, he's saved my life more than once, and he's done more to advance Stark Industries in the last few months than some scientists have done in their entire careers. Of course I want him to stay! If you ever pull a stunt like this again, even your perfect aim won't save you!" the billionaire raged as he left the room.

Clint climbed back into the air duct and followed above the engineer as he made his way to the Hulk room. He watched through the grate as Hulk and Tony smashed things and blew them up until Hulk grew tired and shrunk down into Bruce.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Bruce gasped as soon as he regained consciousness.

"No, everyone's fine. I suggested that Hulk go to the green room, and he went without a fuss. Nothing was smashed that wasn't designated for smashing. Well, maybe the lab floor, but it only has a couple of shallow dents. I told you the new flooring would hold up well," Tony rambled tenderly.

From where Clint sat, it was so obvious that the billionaire's rambling was an act of love, but those two stupid geniuses were too clueless to get it. Unless, maybe Tony would be coerced into a confession if Bruce really did feel as guilty as Tony feared. If Bruce were to threaten to leave . . . Well . . .desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Do we know what caused it this time?" Bruce asked anxiously. "Because if I'm hulking-out for no reason . . . ."

"Birdbrain shot you in the back," Tony interrupted.

"What?!? Why would Clint do that?" he asked in disbelief.

"Apparently he thought it was funny. I swear the guy's probably suffered some sort of brain damage. But don't worry, he won't try it again. I made sure of that," Tony commented.

"Thanks, Tony. Now . . . .could we find me some clothes?" Bruce asked sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Here you go Big Guy," Tony said, handing the physicist a set of clothes.

Clint smacked a hand to his face. Tony threatened him for Bruce, talked Bruce down after an involuntary hulk-out, and had a conversation with Banner while he was completely naked and neither of them seemed phased by it, but somehow they _still_ didn't know how they felt about each other. It was maddening!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You shot Bruce!" Steve cried in disbelief.

"Hey, before you get all judgy on me, I will remind you that just talking to them didn't work when you tried it. I thought maybe some physical danger would draw a confession out them. I mean Stark was livid. It really brought out his protective side," Clint defended. 

"Of course he was livid! You shot Bruce!" Steve yelled.

"Did it work?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

Steve looked like he was about to protest, but Natasha silenced him with a flick of her eyes, and turned back to Clint with a knowing glance.

"No. But in my defense Stark threatening me and talking Banner down were clear acts of love," Clint hastened to justify his actions.

"Aye, but they already engage in many loving actions, but do not recognize them for what they are. Has this situation changed?" Thor asked seriously.

"No." Clint admitted flatly.

"Perhaps it is time that I use my powers as god of fertility to bring this match together," Thor mused.

"Thor, since they're both men their relationship wouldn't be very fertile. Are you sure whatever you have planned for them will work?" Natasha questioned.

"I understand your concern, but though they call me the god of fertility, I am better said the god of couples and relationships, whether or not they have the potential of producing offspring," Thor explained.

"Well, whatever it is, it's got to be better than what those two idiots did," she murmured.

"Hey!" Steve and Clint called, but their offended outcry was cut short by a sharp glance from the redhead.


	4. Sweeter than mead

"Good evening, my friends!" Thor boomed as he walked into the dining room.

Bruce and Tony were sitting at the table enjoying a late night meal of Indian takeout. They had gotten caught up in the lab, and had only just emerged to eat when their stomachs started to protest the long hours without food.

"Good evening, Thor. Would you like to join us?" Bruce asked politely.

Tony shot him a look, and then glanced meaningfully at the small amount of food, but Bruce just shrugged. He was trying to be courteous. They could always order more.

"I have already supped with the rest of the team, but will you two not join me in a toast? Today is the day of Kjærestepar in my homeland. I would be most honored if you would raise a tankard with me in its honor," Thor commented proudly.

He failed to mention that Asgardian mead led to uncontrollable candor, especially when in the presence of one's soulmate. Under its influence, they would have no choice but to confess their love.

"I'd love to Thor, but I don't drink. It's important for me to stay in control, you know, with the Other Guy. Though I'd gladly raise a glass of juice or something like that," Bruce said apologetically.

Thor had forgotten that the doctor didn't imbibe alcoholic beverages. Oh well. The man of iron was never one to turn down a drink, and while it would be better to get a mutual confession, he supposed having one of them confess would have to be enough.

"I guess I should only get two tankards then?" Thor asked expectantly.

Tony turned to look at Bruce, and a strange look crossed over his face. All his features softened, and he turned back to Thor with eyes clearly shining with affection for the scientist seated next to him.

"I'm sorry, Thor. Not this time. Though I wouldn't be opposed to joining Bruce in a juice toast to the occasion if you don't mind. Otherwise you should probably find Clint and Natasha. Sorry," Tony apologized.

"I have never toasted Kjærestepar with juice before, but I suppose I have also never celebrated it on Midgard. Perhaps it is time to try new things," Thor said.

He was disappointed that his plan had failed, but it didn't escape his notice that Tony had turned down the mead for Bruce's sake. He knew of the doctor's alcoholic father, and figured that the billionaire was probably trying to limit or even eliminate his drinking to try to make the other man more comfortable. Given how much the man of iron seemed to like his drink, such a gesture was nothing short of a pure act of love, and Thor could not bring himself to press the issue. He knew he could probably pressure the billionaire into a small drink if he tried, but he wouldn't. Not even if getting Tony to drink even a sip of the mead would have made him confess the love he was clearly showing, because the gesture was too noble to spoil.

So he raised a glass of juice with the other two men and toasted sweethearts, hoping that soon they would come to realize just how much they cared for one another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I fear I have failed in my quest. Neither of them would drink the mead," Thor mourned.

"Really? Your big plan involved getting them drunk? Banner doesn't drink, and if getting drunk could make Stark confess, he would have told Banner months ago," Clint scoffed.

"Asgardian mead has truth-telling properties. After only a small amount, one is compelled to speak nothing but the truth. And if they are in the presence of their true love they must tell them," Thor countered in offense.

"Okay, well if it has magical truth-telling properties, then why didn't you get Stark to drink some? Then he tells Banner he loves him, and problem solved!" Clint commented.

"He refused the mead for the sake of his love. I believe he has been abstaining from alcohol to make the doctor more comfortable. Given his past, I believe that its scent may trigger bad memories for the gentle healer," Thor informed.

"Wait, Stark turned down a drink for Bruce?" Steve asked incredulously.

"He's cut back significantly on his drinking since Bruce arrived. Especially in the last three months," Natasha commented.

"But that's all the more reason they should be together!" Steve cried in frustration. 

"Well, there's only one of us left, and honestly I don't know why we didn't start with her. Getting secrets out of people is what Nat does for a living," Clint said.

"Yes, but it was much more fun watching you three try and fail," she commented with a smirk.

They opened their mouths to protest, but she stopped them by raising a single, perfectly groomed eyebrow.

"I need your help, though," she continued. "This will be much easier if we separate them, so I want you three to keep Tony occupied while I talk to Bruce."

"Really? You're going with Bruce? The man hardly talks, and he doesn't trust anyone. What makes you think you can get him to talk?" Steve questioned.

Natasha glared at him.

"Well, if anyone can get him to talk, it would be Nat," Clint broke in, ending the conversation before it got ugly.


	5. Lies and the truth

"Banner! Banner! Tony collapsed! They brought him to the med bay at SHIELD. They think something's wrong with the arc reactor!" she called in well-acted panic.

"Can you take me there?" Bruce asked, clearly worried but keeping his voice level.

"I could, but he's in intensive care. They only allow family and partners in that unit. I suppose we could tell them . . ." she started, hoping he would fill in the blanks.

"That I'm his doctor, and I know more about the arc reactor than anyone else, except Tony himself," Bruce finished.

"Of course," she said neutrally.

Darn! She had forgotten that Bruce had actually gotten his MD since moving in with Stark. After years of "playing doctor," he had wanted to make it official. He even spent weekends volunteering at the free clinic. How had she forgotten!

She continued to lead Bruce toward the hangar as she planned her next move.

"You must be pretty scared. You and Tony seem pretty close," she tried.

She knew she was reaching, but it was worth a shot.

"We are. He's my best friend. But he's strong, and he's faced a lot. I'm sure he'll be fine," Bruce said levelly.

It was clear he was much less sure than he sounded, and he was saying what he did to keep himself calm, but it seemed cruel to press the issue.

"I'm sure you're right, doc," she said as she pressed the elevator button.

The door opened on Clint, Steve, Thor and Tony.

"Tony?" Bruce said in surprise.

"Hey, Big Guy. We were going to go out for some ice cream in the park, want to join us?" Tony said cheerfully.

Bruce turned accusing eyes to Natasha and said, "You told me . . . "

"I know," she cut him off. "I lied."

"Why would you lie about that?" Bruce asked in hurt confusion.

"Lie about what?" Tony questioned, unhappy to be left out.

"She said you collapsed," Bruce said.

"What?!? Why would she say that?" Tony puzzled.

"Because we wanted to get Bruce to admit that he loved you," Steve commented.

"Still really confused here, Cap," Tony commented.

"You and Banner clearly love each other, and you're pretty much perfect for each other, so we've been trying to get you guys to see it," Clint explained.

"Is that why you shot me?" Bruce asked looking pointedly at Clint.

Clint nodded.

"And why you gave us the speech about letting people know how you feel about them?" Bruce asked turning his gaze to Steve.

Steve blushed and nodded slightly.

"And why you tried to get us drunk?" Tony said turning toward Thor.

"Not drunk, my friend. I just needed you to drink Asgardian mead. It has truth-telling properties," the thunder god clarified.

"You guys are ridiculous. Of course we love each other," Tony said, walking to Bruce's side and wrapping an arm around him. "We're together. We've been dating for three months! Which, granted, isn't that long, but I've never felt the way that I feel about Bruce about anyone else. I just know this time it's going to be different. This time is for keeps."

Bruce smiled at him affectionately and said, "I feel the same way."

"Hold the phone," Clint said. "You've been dating for three months, and you didn't tell us!"

"Yeah? Why? Should we have told you?" Tony asked, confusion filling his face once more.

"Yeah!" Clint, Steve, Natasha and Thor, (who actually said 'aye'), all exclaimed at once.

"Did you know we were supposed to tell them, Bruce?" Tony asked his boyfriend.

"I sort of assumed they already knew. It's not like we tried to hide it, and two of them are spies," Bruce answered.

"You're right. How could they not know? We've been pretty obvious," Tony commented.

That shut the others up. They were still far from pleased to be left out of the loop, but none of them wanted to admit just how clueless they had been. And to think they had been making fun of Bruce and Tony for not paying attention!


End file.
